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Glenna Tooman, ForeverWed staff
expert
& Sara L. Ambarian, ForeverWed staff expert and
Newsletter editor
We receive a lot of questions each year from
couples or their families, asking about the
appropriate division of financial responsibility
for wedding costs.
The short answer is that, in most social circles
now,
there is much less strict adherence to any
traditional "split" of costs than has been the
rule in past generations. I am always reminded
of the
original version of the movie, Father of the
Bride, and the moment when he realizes that his
other child is a SON, so he won't have to pay
for ANYTHING. I am sure that many fathers of
boys felt that relief in those
days, and who can blame them.
One positive result of loosening etiquette rules
in our times is that wedding costs are often
divided with much more common sense and
practicality than they once were-- and quite a
bit less ego. With couples marrying later in
life, high occurrence of second marriages,
higher incomes for some segments of young
people, more women leaving home and/or entering
the workforce before marriage, etc., it makes
good
sense in many cases for wedding costs to be
shared by the couple themselves, and/or the
groom's family in some cases.
Current statistics show that this common sense
approach is spreading to a national scale.
According to an article in the July 23, 2003
issue of the Christian Science Monitor quotes
the Association of Bridal
Consultants saying that only about 20% of
weddings are still paid for entirely by the
parents of the bride. Not surprisingly,
considering the factors mentioned above, about
53% are jointly financed by both sets of
parents and the (often well-financially-
established) bride and groom, and about 27% are
financed entirely by the bride and groom
alone.
Evidently, the weddings which are still financed
entirely by bride's parents most often occur in
strict/highly traditional social circles, like
those in the US South, or when the bride is very
young.
Each couple has to think through their own
situation and discuss matters with their
families to figure out what it most practical
and reasonable in their particular case. For
more on this subject, check out my
article:
http://www.frazmtn.com/~ambarian/whopays.html
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