The Unity Candle Ceremony

The ceremonial lighting of candles is found in many cultures. From the western tradition of lighting candles to celebrate a birthday, to the Chinese Lantern Festival on the first full moon of the lunar year in the east; from the Jewish Hanukkah or Festival of Lights celebration, to the Catholic ritual of lighting a candle at the foot of the Blessed Virgin. It is thus no surprise that the lighting of a single candle to symbolically represent the new union of husband and wife has become a popular part of the wedding celebration.


The Unity Candle rite has only become popular in the last quarter of a century, so there is little standardization of the practice. However, the rite does commonly have this structure:


  • Prior to the wedding ceremony, a large single Unity Candle and two slimmer tapers are placed in holders and arranged in the area where the wedding ceremony will be performed.
  • During the wedding ceremony, after the exchange of vows and rings, the bride and groom move to the area where the candles have been readied, careful to not obscure the congregation’s view of the candles with their bodies. Two honored participants, one representing each side of the family (usually the bride’s mother and the groom’s mother), come forward and light the individual tapers for their children. (Alternately, the single tapers may have been lit prior to the ceremony or when other candles are lit for the service.)
  • The bride takes her lighted taper; the groom takes his lighted taper.
  • Simultaneously, the bride and groom use their individual tapers to light the single large Unity Candle between them.
  • The bride and groom extinguish their tapers and returns them to their holders.

The lighting of the single candle symbolically represents two individuals joining as one, and the extinguishing of the individual tapers shows the bride’s and groom’s intent to sublimate their individual needs to the greater needs of their union.

Two popular variations on this tradition have also developed:

Those who wish to place a greater emphasis on their continuing individuality may opt not to extinguish the individual tapers, and the three candles, lit and in their holders, stand as a celebration of the bride and groom as individuals and of their union.

Couples who are bringing children into the marriage, may choose to have additional tapers representing the children, who can come forward and join in the lighting of the Unity Candle.

The lighting of the Unity Candle is usually followed by the pronouncement of the couple as husband and wife.

Because the Unity Candle ceremony is not strictly associated with a single religion or culture, it can readily be adapted by couples of various beliefs or backgrounds to express the sentiments most important to them. Incorporated into a Christian ceremony, the lighting of the candle can echo Christ’s role as the "Light of the World." Or for those of Indian descent, it could pay homage to the Hindu Agni Sthapana tradition in which the priest lights a holy fire into which the couple makes offerings.

Most couples keep their Unity Candle and relight it on special occasions, such as their wedding anniversary. Others may decide to use it more broadly as a part of special celebrations, incorporating it into their annual observation of Hanukkah or Advent. If you intend to use your Unity Candle as a part of ongoing spiritual observations and celebrations, you might want to choose a candle that is less "bridal" in its ornamentation.

Because of its versatility and adaptability, the Unity Candle tradition has become a familiar part of today’s wedding celebrations.

May the blessing of light,
Be with you always, 
Light without and light within. 
And may the sun shine
Upon you and warm your heart
Until it glows 
Like a great fire
So that others may feel
The warmth of your love
For one another.

(Adapted from an Irish Blessing)


Wedding Ceremony: What you need to know

Its our step by step guide to wedding to wedding receptions.  No matter the question, we've got an example or answer for you

The following information is articles, questions, and answers that have been submitted by ForeverWed readers.  Should these not answer your questions. Feel free to ask an expert

Civil Wedding: Is it for you?

Consultants and Coordinators

Covenant Documents

Covenant Document Information

Do You need a bridal consultant

Dividing our ceremony equally

Exchanging Vows

Exchange vows without a minister?

Family Medallion Ceremony

Famous Quotes to use in your vows

Finding outdoor locations in Maryland

Final Wedding Day Checklist
Five Ways to Plan a wedding with a full time job

Grandfather Walks the Bride Down the Aisle

How the Wedding Party Enters the Church

How can I perform a wedding ceremony?

How to include our children in our vows

How to seat everyone at the ceremony

How to determine if you need a Consultant or Coordinator

How to Deal with the Stress of Planning a Wedding

How to Choose Music for your Wedding Ceremony

Involving Children in Unity Candle lighting

Invitation to the wedding/NOT the reception?

Jewish Wedding Ceremonies

Lutheran Wedding Vow

Hassle Free Seating Charts

Humanist Unity Candle Ceremony

Military Weddings

Non-Denominational Ceremony

Notes about Church Weddings


Outdoor Wedding Tips

Officiate: Exchanging without a minister

Officiate: How to Find a minister

Poems and Readings

Postponements: How to let them know the weddings been postponed

Prayers: Ideas and Resources



Planning Your Wedding Ceremony


Seating: Who sits where

Small Wedding Ceremony followed by Large Wedding Reception

Specialized Passages

Traditional Wedding Vows

Planning Your Wedding

Processional and Recessional Order

Where to find a minister in Saginaw, Michigan

Readings for an 11 Year Old

Seating Guests at the Ceremony

Seating - Which side is the brides family seated ?

Spiritual Unity Candle Ceremony

To extinguish or not to extinguish your tapers

Traditional Vows from Various Religions

Ushers walk grandmothers down the isle

Unity Candle vs Family Medallion Ceremony

Unity Candle Ceremony

Unity Candle Ceremony Information

Unity Candle Ceremony Tips

Wedding Vows

Wedding Attendants Guide for the Ceremony

Wedding Ceremony Music

Wedding Etiquette

Wedding Programs

Wedding Planning Timeline

Wedding Vow Examples

Wedding Vows: Personalized Christian Vows

Wedding Vows: 17 Ceremony Vow Samples

Wedding Vows: 25 Prewritten Vows written by officiates for your use

Wedding Vows: Love, Personal and Historical Poems, over 120 to choose from

Wedding Vows: Old and New Testament Readings, 35 Verses to Choose From

Wedding Vows: Specialized Passages

Wedding Vows: Traditional Passages

Wedding Vows - Choosing the Perfect Bible Reading for your wedding

Wedding Vows - Non Religious Wedding Vow Readings

Wedding Vows - A Brief Guide to Creating Your Own Religious Ceremony

Wedding Vows - A Vow to Last Forever

What Color Ties Should The Guys Wear?

Your Ceremony ... "Spiritual" vs. "Religious"?


Wedding Supplies Store

Personalized Aisle Runners

Unity Sand Ceremony Sets

Shadow Box Ceremony Sets

Wedding Memorial

Flower Girl Baskets

Ring Bearer Pillows

Guest Books

Guest Book Alternatives

Mr. & Mr./Mrs & Mrs.

Bride's Favorites

Bridal Party Gifts
Bridal Party Gifts
Personalized Tin Mint Favors
Personalized Tin Mints
Personalized Water Bottle Labels
Personalized Water Bottle Labels
Unity Sand Ceremony
Unity Sand Ceremony